I’m pretty sure I have not opened Bumble in over a month. I was listening to some great music on my headphones this morning, a bit bored, a bit curious about the 17 “events” Bumble teased me with. Trump or Republican triggers (guns, flags, ultra-patriotic symbols).Money rules (fancy cars, fancy aircraft, fancy vacation shots).Age – either they are lying about it, or they have not taken care of themselves.Dramatic photo shots to obscure a fitness problem.Too glamorous (we don’t want to date a photoshopped model).Unhappy or bored-expression in the main photo.Paints a picture of their ideal relationship.Natural beauty (low makeup, low eyelash enhancements, or dark eyeliner).You can feel a lot in those moments when a photo slips into view. Those features/factors are smiles, bright eyes, joy, fitness, energy. There are women who are immediate right swipes. You’ve got seconds to make your impression in online dating. If her desires include me, well, then we have an opening “match.” The Two-Second Swipe Since I’m pretty driven, I need a woman who’s assertive and ready to speak her mind and her desires. And tell me directly if she’s interested in figuring stuff out with me. (This is often not the case, however, as you well know.) Then I want her to be direct. We’re mid-life, let’s hope we both have our shit together. I want a strong woman who leads with what she wants AND what she brings to the potential relationship. Does she have a solid career that she loves? Is she looking to “travel,” meaning spend money on vacation? What’s she escaping here in our town? If you’re a “let’s see” I’m going to open your profile and get a little more information about you. If I see the glow in your eyes, that happiness quotient, I’m swiping right before ever reading your profile. I want to see women who are happy, fit, and not too excited about drinking. You might be better served to work on your lifestyle and fitness more than your online dating profile. I’m “doing research” for my dating writing. (sheepish grin) What’s Everyone Doing on Bumble? If they are attached they are either “shopping” for something better, YUK, or just browsing. I’m not… However, I don’t think my situation is all that uncommon within the online dating apps. I’m not looking for a different relationship. Why I’m spending any time on Bumble confuses me.
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